May 19 2013
May 16 2013
Hooters!
A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’
‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?’
‘ Well, now they know you’re one of us,’ said the bartender, ‘Would you like a drink?’
‘No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,’ said the puzzled nun.
‘You see,’ laughed the bartender, ‘every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?’
Kisses ~ Kristine
May 12 2013
Holy Hell!
One day God was looking down at earth and saw all
of the rascally behavior that was going on…
So He called His angels and sent one to earth for a
time.
When the angel returned, he told God, ‘Yes, it is bad
on earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.
God thought for a moment and said, ‘Maybe I had
better send down a second angel to get another
opinion.’
So God called another angel and sent her to earth
for a time.
When the angel returned she went to God and said,
‘Yes, it’s true. The earth is in decline; 95% are
misbehaving, but 5% are being good…’
God was not pleased.
So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were good,
because He wanted to encourage them, and give
them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn’t get one
either.
Kisses ~ Kristine
May 02 2013
A little Drama! Or a lot…..
Hopefully you’ve noticed I’ve been very quiet lately and haven’t been posting or tweeting or pretty much anything for a month or so. There’s been a bit of drama going on that I’ve definitely had to deal with.
My mom has severe COPD and had an attack. Which in itself, wouldn’t be that big of a deal, I’ve dealt with it before. This wouldn’t be her first go around in the hospital, but it nearly was her last. Not to bore you with all the details, she went downhill and in a big way and very quickly. My family and I had a lot of decisions to make and not sure that any of us were ready to do that, not just yet.
And just a little side note, for anyone that has lost a parent – I can begin to understand how you feel. For those that haven’t yet, be thankful and don’t for one second think you are prepared for that day, because you sure the hell aren’t.
Anyway, somehow, someway she has recovered and has finally come home. She still needs some help doing things and getting from here to there but she is improving every day. And my drama has an end in sight! Thank god!
So I hope you’ve all missed me because you have no earthly idea how much I’ve missed you and I can’t wait to get back to my camming and my tweeting and everything else! Please don’t give up on me just yet, I’m sure not!
Kisses ~ Kristine
May 02 2013
Wrestling!
A Russian and Ole the Norwegian wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said, “Now, don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a match because of this ‘pretzel’ hold he has”. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you’re finished’. Ole nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, Ole and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing Ole and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the coach buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn’t watch the inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the coach raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and Ole collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match. The crowd went crazy. The coach was astounded.
When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, “How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!”
Ole answered, “Vell, I vas ready to give up ven he got me in dat hold, but at da last moment, I opened my eyes and saw dis pair of testicles right in front of my face…I had nuttin’ to lose so wid my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies just as hard as I could.”
So the trainer exclaimed, “That’s what finished him off!”
“Vel not really. You’d be amazed how strong you get ven you bite your own nuts!”
Kisses ~ Kristine
Apr 26 2013
In Charge
Did you really think you were in charge? OH no, I don’t think so, Mister!
I brought you out here to teach you a lesson. When I asked you last week to meet me for a quick blowjob and fuck, that didn’t mean you could be busy! Nope, you should NEVER be too busy to meet me and get your cock sucked!
And now, you’re gonna learn your lesson. Just sit still in that chair, I know the bindings are a bit tight but they are supposed to be. I notice your pants seem to be getting tighter too – hmm, now just think of how my pussy felt wanting so badly to feel your cock in me and getting stood up!
Let me get really close to your chair. It’s getting a bit warm, maybe I should pull my big boobs out … ahhh, that’s much better! Bet you wish you could grab them, don’t you?
I have to admit, seeing you sitting there tied to that chair with your cock so hard is definitely turning me on – the things I could do to you right now! But before I even begin thinking about that I’m gonna take care of myself! Just like I had to do the day you stood me up! How about you just sit there and watch while I finger my pussy and cum all over my hand. Shhh, don’t beg babydoll, it’s very unbecoming!
Kisses ~ Kristine
Apr 10 2013
Mrs. Jones went to see her doctor. When he inquired about her
complaint she replied that she suffered from a discharge.
He instructed her to get undressed and lie down on the examining table.
She did so…. The doctor put on rubber gloves and began to massage
her
“private parts.” After a couple of minutes he asked, “How does that
feel?” “Wonderful,” she replied, “but the discharge is from my ear…”
Kisses ~ Kristine
Apr 08 2013
Bisexual
“I’m finished with Debbie!” Tom exclaimed to his friend.
“What did she do?” asked his buddy
“She broke down and told me she was bisexual.”
“That bothers you that much?”
“Yeah!!! Who the hell wants to screw just twice a year???”
Kisses ~ Kristine
